Currently...

Sitting in bed with a sleeping cat, ready to go to bed myself, and decided to write a little note to just say that I am still alive. See, I've spent the last few months learning how to live again. As dramatic as that sounds, its' true.

It ended with a text message that read 'you are dead to me'. I knew it was over from there. Packed up, moved out, and I was left with the haunted house. Not haunted, literally, but haunted by the love that once lived between these walls. Haunted by what used to be and what isn't anymore. Instead of staying friends, I decided that for me, for my own sanity, it was better to cut all ties. I didn't want to play games, and I didn't want him to, either.

For everyone that thinks that it's easy to break up with someone you lived with, let me just tell you that it isn't. It sucks. Coming home to what looks like a ransacked living room, that only looks that way because the couch, TV stand, and TV are gone, and all that's left is a pile of cable boxes and the line in the carpet where his couch used to be. I rented a Rug Doctor like an adult - got rid of all the stains, as good as a chalk outline so far as I was concerned. The outline of the death of our relationship.

Before thinking that I'm wallowing in some sort of self-pity over here, let me just say that no, that isn't the case. In the two or so months since this has happened, I've gotten promoted at work, got a new car, and have a moderately successful handmade business. All in two months. I don't have time to wallow - hell, I barely have time to work some days! I'll leave you guys with a few pictures from life these days - and promise that I'm working hard, as my show schedule slows down, to get back to writing. It's not something I like not doing. It feels like something is missing, to me, and I'm more than ready to get back to the way life should be.

An amazing sunrise on my way to work!

A recent show's booth setup.

The crazy waves here in the MKE due to
Superstorm Sandy.

Cupcakes I made as a Halloween surprise for the shop -
I made a little mess with the frosting, as usual.

My Day of the Dead makeup from hosting trivia
on Halloween night!

Me hanging with my favorite little dude.

Book Club...Tuesday? Life After Death by Damien Echols

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you will know that I have been a longtime supporter of the West Memphis Three. When I heard that Damien Echols was releasing a book, I was immediately interested, and picked it up as soon as I could. I finished it this morning, and walked away from it with the following thoughts. The book itself is called Life After Death, and it was released on September 18th.

The writing was phenomenal. Damien, who after seventeen years behind bars was released last August, has a definite way with words - especially for someone so soft spoken. It was wonderful to read about his childhood, though the story itself was a sad one. Most of the book was the story of his life leading up to his arrest - it was not a 'woe is me' pity party like some might expect it to be. In fact, I enjoyed not reading the ins and outs of the case all over again. It was refreshing to hear - or read - Damien be so blatantly honest about his life leading up to his arrest. This was not my first time reading Damien's words - his first book, Almost Home, was something I remember finding on eBay or a site of the like, and something I read cover to cover in one sitting.

If you are expecting a salacious memoir about seventeen years in prison, look elsewhere. The book is more a sequel to Almost Home than anything - the story of a man somewhat broken by prison life, but not broken to the point that he gave up.

For years, I have constantly felt a connection to not only Damien, but the West Memphis Three situation as a whole. As I wrote in this post a couple of days after their release, it is a situation that still brings me to tears to this day.

To see Damien out in the world and being as successful as he is is wonderful. I feel incredibly proud to be a supporter of the West Memphis Three, and could not be happier that he can enjoy the things he outlines so well in the book - winter, life with his wife, Lorri, and chasing the dream of exoneration. It is wonderful to see that he never let the years behind bars kill him inside, though they tried.

While he was in prison, I always wanted to write Damien - tell him how connected I felt, but it's not something I can do anymore, for obvious reasons - and just this once, I'll keep my words to myself, since freedom is a greater gift than any letter could ever be.

(Still) not dead, but an update...

Have you ever noticed how fast life moves? Before your eyes, in the blink of an eyelid, everything changes. Sometimes for the better, sometimes worse. Feelings change and so do people, as quickly as the seasons.

You can't place blame in a breakup, because really, sometimes two people just grow apart instead of together, which is the case in the situation I find myself in as of Monday. You wake up one day and your feelings are different, through no fault of your own. It sucks, and it can hurt, especially since you're tearing down a house two people built together essentially - but at some point, you have to live for yourself and not someone else - especially when it isn't working.

Amongst all that, I've accepted a new job where I work, running the office. Still working part time as a trivia host at night and running a business on the weekends and whenever possible with my knitting and other crafts.

Suffice to say, I'm exhausted! Although, the best advice I can give right now is pretty simple...

Look good and feeling good will come right along.

Introducing Blackheart Knits & Crafts!

It’s always awkward to start out a blog post when you haven’t done one in awhile.. you aren’t sure how to be! Like when you’re in the midst of a breakup and you tiptoe around each other in the house like everything’s made of glass.. like that. In any case, I’ve been busy. Busy doing what, you ask?

Launching a legitimate handmade business!

Something that I touch on here and there in my posts is how I enjoy knitting and doing crafts, just enjoy creating in general. For years, I’ve been knitting for charity and for friends, and even selling a piece here and there. I created an Etsy shop a few years ago, but haven’t ever made a sale since Etsy is so oversaturated at this point it isn’t even funny. That wasn’t doing how I thought it would, so I opted for the next best thing – doing craft shows! 

Several years ago, I came up with the moniker Blackheart Knits & Crafts as kind of a whim. It’s something that I thought of that never really went away and it has definitely stuck!

The last month has been nothing but stress, hemorrhaging money, and attempting to create the greatest booth I possibly could. I bought plain kraft paper bags and hand-stamped each letter on them, bought and painted fixtures, bought tablecloths, created business cards – the whole shebang. It all came full circle for me when I applied for a Wisconsin seller’s permit! We are officially ready to roll!

Of course, my first show (which was this past Sunday) didn’t go how I would have planned. Organizers poorly promoted the show, which led to maybe 25 people in the door all day, and it was not the handmade show it was purported to be. There were maybe three handmade crafts booths, otherwise the entire show was saturated with home businesses like Pure Romance, Pampered Chef, and the like. Through no fault of my own, my first show really was not a success.

Since there are two sides to every coin, I decided to take my motivation and direct it forward, instead of stewing and being upset about a show that didn’t go how it should have. So, since Sunday, I have been a busy bee! I have booked about ten more shows from now until Thanksgiving weekend, and if anything, I’m just hungry to be successful and continue to grow the little handmade business that homes itself in my second bedroom when it isn’t packed up and ready to go.

I will continue to maintain an Etsy shop, which you can find here, and if you’re in the Midwest area and want to check out one of my local shows, or even if you just want to ‘Like’ what I’m doing, Blackheart Knits & Crafts is now on Facebook. Even if you aren’t in the area, I always take custom orders and you know.. Christmas is just a stone’s throw away!

Seriously, though – thank you guys for your patience and I will be happy to continue sharing news and goings-on in my little life with a bit more frequency from now going forward.

Minneapolis Mania!

Let me start this post off by stating: PICTURE HEAVY. Not really pictures of me, just pictures of random awesome stuff we came in contact with in the midst of our trip. Like sharks. Two weeks ago, we decided to go to Minneapolis!

Until two Fridays ago, Mike had been at annual Army training for about two weeks. He had the idea midway through training that he wanted to go out of town. I was a bit taken aback, mostly because I figured that being gone for two weeks would mean he would want to be home! Of course, that was not to be! After a little bit of bickering back and forth on where to go (since, let’s be honest, that’s what happened), we decided on Minneapolis. I hadn’t been since I was a kid, and Mike hadn’t been for a few years, either. So off we were!

As soon as he got home on Friday night, we took off. We didn’t stop until we hit Wisconsin Dells, and that was only for a quick bathroom break and a trip to Taco Bell – I discovered that Sinclair gas stations exist, though! I had never seen one, and the giant dinosaur coming out of the top of the building reminded me of the dinosaur that was always stolen from a gas station in Green Bay growing up around homecoming.

We had a lot of fun on the drive there, even though we got pulled over (whoops)! The passenger side headlight of the car was out, which we didn’t know, and the officer questioned Mike on his car’s modifications, but Mike only walked away with a $10 ticket for not having his insurance card on him! That led to a mission to Wal-Mart for the correct bulb, and a bit of a hit to our planned arrival time.

Thanks to Hotwire, we got a great price on a halfway decent room, and finally got to fall asleep at around 2:30 AM. Saturday morning, though, it was up and at ‘em to the Mall of America!

If I can only give one tip and one tip only to those going to the MOA, I would suggest this: go as soon as the place opens. 9:30 AM. Parking is amazing, there aren’t a lot of people getting in your way, and if need be, you can have an in-and-out shopping experience. We wandered around and giggled to ourselves at the gaggles of teenage girls lining up to see Cody Simpson (I have no idea who he even is, but apparently he’s a big deal to those in the 10-16 age bracket) on the way to the aquarium!

So much fun. I had no idea there even was such a thing in the mall, but I was proven wrong. Was it huge? No. was it a halfway decent price for the ability to see a bunch of awesome animals and go through the crazy tunnel tanks? Yes.

After the aquarium, we just wandered around the mall and got all touristy. We were there for around two or three hours, and probably went into four stores. One of which was a new-ish store I discovered called Typo, where I finally found Washi tape! It is just a small store filled with stationery and other items like that – think a bit of an Urban Outfitters vibe about it – and the cashier was awesome and gave me a huge discount for a reason I still don’t know! And I got this awesome metal water bottle for $5 with my purchase. Can’t go wrong. After that was the obligatory trip to Lush, and that was about it!

Out of the three sushi places in the mall, we decided on a small one on the second floor called Tiger Sushi. It was so great! One place advertised ‘American Sushi’, which doesn’t even sound good for a second, and the other seemed a bit too upper crust for what we wanted to pay for a lunch. If you’re at the Mall of America and want sushi, I would definitely, hands down, tell you to check out Tiger Sushi.

Making record time and getting out of the mall at around 12:00, we decided to check out the Como Zoo and Observatory – a free attraction in Minneapolis. Parking was atrocious so we decided to take the shuttle, which was no problem at all. Donated a few dollars at the door and walked around with the families, but were feeling a little disappointed (mostly at how everyone else was acting), so went to the Observatory instead. So many fewer people and such awesome stuff to see! Mike was a little disappointed because their Japanese Garden was closed for renovations, but I told him we’ll have to go back again and see it when it’s finished.

I was getting a bit tired of being around crowds at that point, so we just opted to drive around and find places (mostly yarn stores and auto shops), and then wound up back at the hotel for a few hours before setting out for dinner.

We decided on Psycho Suzi’s Motor Lounge, a restaurant that we found through random searches on our phones. Our food was great and came out quick – it was sad to leave half of it there but we got so full so fast! Only thing I would say I would change would be the waitstaff – our waiter was kind of a jerk.

Sunday was nothing more than a ride home, taking the long way to go to Herrschner’s craft factory in Steven’s Point, and in order for Mike to get his quick driving bug out of the way via the Kettle Moraine Scenic Drive. We got home at around 6:00 PM, both exhausted, but glad to have had the weekend we did, because it was absolutely great.

It reminded me that it can’t be all work and no play – there has to be a break in the monotony sometime. It was so nice to get out of town for just a couple of days.