Guest Post: Shannon from Living With the Seat Up!

I have a great treat for you guys today - I decided to take part in 20 Something Bloggers' Blog Swap event, and have a guest post from Shannon over at Living With the Seat Up for you! Go check out her blog for my post, as well as all her others!

I would imagine not everyone was lucky enough to get to go to Disney World as a child.  I was very lucky as a child to get to go every couple years.  It became a place for all of our extended family to meet from their various locations they were living.  Thankfully, my grandfather felt this was important for bonding as a family unit, and I felt it was important for having fun.  Of course as a child you don’t think about the actual family bonding time you are spending, rather you just think about the fun times with your family.

As I said, I was very fortunate to get to go often enough, Disney World became almost like a second home.  One of the most fun memories I have is when my mother and aunt allowed my cousin and I to go to the Magic Kingdom theme park alone at 10 years old.  They loaded us onto the monorail and off we went with our hopper passes to the park full of thousands of people.  Let’s not be naive, I’m certain there were a few child abductors walking around there someplace.  It’s a good thing we were smart enough to stay away from them.

Our entire day there was spent riding all of 3 rides; Splash Mountain, Space Mountain and Thunder Run.  We ran between these 3 rides and a few times asked the ride attendants to just let us stay on for “one more round”.  We weren’t always lucky enough to be allowed this privilege, but once or twice they let us.  Of course, we pigged out on junk food and soft drinks, using our strong and robust child digestive systems to consume it all without being sick.

Looking back on it I see how crazy that is.  10 year olds these days (and probably back then too) are definitely not mature or responsible enough to be visiting large theme parks alone, without adult supervision.  But we made it out alive, and had a lot of fun.

A day alone without adult supervision, that’s my best childhood summer vacation!

And the winners are...

Last night, I couldn't hold back any longer and picked the winners of the scarf giveaway! Everyone has been informed already, but I would just like to take a second to give a huge congratulations to Alexandria M., Talon M., and Tam S.!

Thanks so much to everyone for entering the giveaway - I hope to do more in the future!

Win a Ruffle Scarf from An Epic Liz!

I have seen so many people putting together great giveaways in the last few months I've been seriously blogging, and I was just waiting for the right time to put together one of my own - so here we go!

There are six scarves pictured here, but I have far more colors in my stock and can knit another one quick!

Recently, I've been making a whole bunch of ruffle scarves for a bazaar coming up in September, and I have a great deal of extras - as well as extra yarn to make more. So I would love to give three away!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Your part in this is simple! Here are your steps:

• Answer the question on the giveaway - and I promise it's an easy one! What's your favorite color?
• "Like" An Epic Liz on Facebook!
• Follow @littlecreep on Twitter
• Tweet about the giveaway!

The giveaway begins today, and will continue until July 21! Winners will be announced on Monday, July 23. Open to those in the US and Canada. There will be three winners, and if you win you will get the color of your choice based on the answer to the giveaway question. If you are one of the winners, you will be notified via e-mail within 48 hours!

The Blogger 411 - hosted by From Mrs. to Mama!

Throughout my perusal of various blogs on various subjects, I always see blog hops, but haven't ever participated in one myself! I kept seeing the button for one in particular this week, and decided to check it out and do one! The one I chose was the Blogger 411, hosted by From Mrs. to Mama. If you'd like to participate, check it out on her blog - I am very excited that I decided this was my first link-up!

1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? How has your blog changed?

 I started not so seriously around two years ago – I think my blog was made in March of 2010. I would post once in a great while, but nothing to write home about, certainly. It started as a way for me to just get things off my chest to virtually zero followers, but I found myself inspired by the other blogs I saw and spent time reading, and decided to get more serious about it earlier this year. I think it definitely changed from a place to be broody and ridiculous into a place where I could teach others to do fun DIY projects and let people into the pieces of my life I decide. It's valuable, at least to me. 

2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?

I went to Milwaukee Area Technical College from 2007 until around 2009. It just wasn’t right for me – I initially began my quest for an associate’s degree in Funeral Service, but later changed it to an Associate of Arts. It’s still waiting for me, but I’ll know when the right time is, or if the right time even comes.

3. Where have you traveled?

As an adult, not too many places. Columbus, Ohio for a tattoo convention in 2009, and Fort Wayne, Indiana for the same purpose in 2010.

4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?

I would more than likely buy a house, if possible, or just use the money to pay off old debt and things like my car.

5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?

Negativity. I dislike people who can’t find any positive in life, who have to spend all of their energy putting others down or whining about how hard life is.

People who make weird noises with their hands in my ear. Long story, but one of the supervisors at work rubs his thumb and forefinger together in my ear, and it drives me crazy. I even started throwing elbows when I hear it!

Those who touch me when asking about my tattoos. Now, I’m pretty tolerant, and by all means have no problem answering questions about my tattoos or the meanings behind them. What I don’t like, however, is people that arbitrarily think that it’s okay to touch me because of that. I once had a random woman at a gas station touch the tattoo behind my ear to tell me that she liked it. It was a bit strange.

6. What is your favorite movie?

Of all time? I would say more than likely Cry-Baby. I am also a huge fan of all of Vincent Price’s films, so would say The Abominable Dr. Phibes, as well.

7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?

Of the two alcoholic varieties, I’d say beer and whiskey (Pabst and Jack Daniels, if it matters), and of the non-alcoholic I would venture to say Diet Pepsi or the delicious Chai Tea I get from my Keurig.

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?

Work on my blog or any number of craft projects I have sitting half-finished throughout the house. Either that, or I’m in the bath tub enjoying some relaxation courtesy of Lush bath bombs!

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?

Probably – and this is equal parts embarrassing and representative of my crafty personality – Jo-Anns. Or Target. You can never have too many craft projects or household goodies! They don’t call Target the $100 store for nothing.

10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Or present.

I would say that probably one of my most embarrassing moments would be… when I was about eight years old and stood up in my now aunt and uncle’s wedding as their flower girl. I may have even been younger than eight – in any case – I was responsible for throwing the flower petals down the aisle as they walked up, and the bottom of my basket was lined in Easter grass. You can bet dollars to doughnuts that I threw that Easter grass on the ground because I wasn’t paying attention, and that everybody saw it. That, and it was forever immortalized in VHS format by the wedding videographer.

11. What day would you love to relive again?

Any day that I spent shortly after I learned to drive. I would drive anywhere and everywhere, mostly aimlessly, listening to music loud, enjoying life. I am still a huge purveyor of driving around for no real purpose.

12. If your life was turned into a movie... what actor would play you?

I haven’t put much thought into a question like this! Hmm. I honestly couldn’t tell you. Christina Ricci, maybe? I have no idea.

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?

My first job ever was at McDonald’s on Oneida Street in Green Bay. I started working there at fifteen because I couldn’t get a job at the mall until I was sixteen. From there, I worked at a small bead store in Green Bay’s Broadway district, at a call center, an animal shelter, a Blockbuster Video, and countless office jobs.

14. Show us a picture from high school or college.

In high school, I was obviously the super-broody, living in my parents' basement having a rough time kind of kid.

15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?

Australia or anywhere in Europe. Australia because I’d love to hold a koala and I’ve heard that you can do that there, and Europe because I have always been a fan of, and have wanted to visit places like France, Germany, and England.

16. Show us the most current picture of you or you, or your family, or anything of meaning to you.

A silly picture of my cat, Reno, wrapped in a scarf like the cat in the ad.

17. Where do you see your life 5 years from now?

To be honest, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know if I’ll still be in my job or somehow working for myself (!!!). I couldn’t say if I’ll be married or not, or what I’ll be into. Above all, I just want to be the happiest I can possibly be.

OK, I'll admit it....

I'm pretty excited No Doubt are putting out new music.

Sure, they've been a bit touch and go for the last few years, but everybody grows up - even members of our former favorite bands. Yesterday, the video for their new song "Settle Down" hit the internet, and I took the time to check it out today - let me say, I was pretty alright with it.

Do you remember how awesome they were in the 90's? When Tragic Kingdom and Return Of Saturn came out? It was all kinds of girl power awesomeness, all the time (no offense to the Spice Girls). Of course, Tragic Kingdom was a strange recounting of Gwen and Tony's breakup, and Return Of Saturn seemed like around an hours' worth of pining love letter to Gavin Rossdale, but it was just awesome. To be a girl and be growing up when those albums were popular was a gift in itself. In the music industry, completely domineered by males, No Doubt was just... the greatest thing since sliced bread! As a girl, it felt like Gwen knew what I was going through in the trials and tribulations of my teenage life, and I remember there even being a few photos of Gwen and the boys plastered all over the walls of my bedroom. No, seriously - my walls were absolutely covered with photos and posters from magazines like Circus, Spin, and anything else I could really get my hands on.

I wouldn't consider myself a super fan, by any means, but man - don't you remember how awesome you felt as a girl listening to "Just A Girl", or any of the other anthems that came out during their heyday? Rock Steady was a little too weird for me, and "Settle Down" gives me a bit of that overtly reggae vibe, but I'm going in with an open mind.

When bands come back out after a long absence, it's a crapshoot. Gwen Stefani did great starting both a clothing line and a solo career (both successfully), and I'm sure the guys did their thing in their personal lives, as well as producing and working on music on their own. For most bands, taking that kind of time off is a death sentence - for No Doubt, I doubt they'll be completely done until they've really done all that they want to do.

If you're ready to check out the newest incarnation of No Doubt, you can check out the video for "Settle Down" here.

Weekend Recap!

You know, I haven't ever done one of these before, but I thought hey - it could be fun! So here goes.

I took the day off of work early on Friday, and decided to take a friend up on a tattoo deal at his shop for Friday the 13th, and grabbed some new ink!

The piece is based on a quote from Timothy Leary: "What you have to beware of is transcendent reality, the looking in and looking out". I thought the quote was interesting, and the piece turned out absolutely awesome. Done by Kyle Cook at Horseshoe Tattoo here in Milwaukee.

Then, I almost died in a hail storm since I was driving home. I didn't mind the rain, the hail just made it scary and I had to pull off into a random residential neighborhood and wait it out. 

Friday night, I reorganized the living room. The book shelves were getting incredibly full of collections and you could barely see the books on them! We decided to get some wall cubes and shelves in order to keep that stuff and the books separate. I think it turned out great!

The rest of my weekend was pretty simple: errands and knitting scarves! I can't wait to share what I worked on!

What did you do with your weekends?

Book Club Mondays: UR

This week, I didn't have time to read an entire book - but I figure I've been doing pretty well at a book a week for a long while - I decided to take a break and read a short story instead - Stephen King's UR. I found it on my Kindle, and as far as I know, you can only get it on a Kindle - for a special reason, of course!

UR is about a man named Wesley, who, when trying to get through a nasty breakup, decides to order a Kindle online. A large contributing factor to his breakup with his girlfriend Ellen was his love of books, so it was a purchase of spite. He gets it and notices something pretty obvious - it's pink and definitely not what he ordered. Thinking it was a fluke, he decides to keep it, and when exploring it, finds the Experimental area of the menu, and the Ur section. Many authors he loved had many unpublished works there, and he continued to explore until he realizes that the pink Kindle's Ur Local section allows him to see into the future, and realizes that someone close to him will die without his intervention.

If you are expecting a balls-to-the-wall, regular old Stephen King work, this isn't for you. It is a short narrative, which some have called an advertisement for the Kindle. Though, of course, in a way it is. Stephen King also has a history - Tommyknockers, anyone? - of writing about current events, specifically those technology related. If you are however interested in reading a great little narrative, UR is definitely all yours.

Get Pretty Version 4.0

A few weeks ago, it was incredibly hot outside here in Wisconsin, but I had a birthday party to go to and decided to put some makeup on for the occasion! Here's what my choice was for that hundred-degree party day!

This was after a few hours' worth of being outside and if you ask me, I think it stayed pretty well!

Product list:

Face:

Foundation: Revlon Photoready Airbrush in Vanilla

Brows: Benefit Brow Zings in Medium

Powder: Bare Minerals Matte Powder in Fairly Light

Eyes:

Primer: Bare Minerals Prime Time

Allover: Kat Von D Sugar Skull (from Memento Mori palette)

Crease: Kat Von D Peggy (from Angeles palette)

Inner: Ben Nye Lumiere Grande in Sun Yellow

Liquid Liner: elf Liquid Eyeliner in Black

Waterline Liner: Ulta Smokey Eyes in Black

Mascara: Prestige My Biggest Lashes in Black

Stuff I Love Saturdays: Puzzle Books!

This may be one of the nerdiest things that I will ever admit on this blog, but here goes - I, Liz, am absolutely, ridiculously, and completely addicted to puzzle books.

Whether they're meant to build your brain power or just pass time, I own at least one of each of the following: brain games, Sudoku, word search, crossword puzzles. They are like my kryptonite! I have had a word search book constantly for at least the last three or four years, but I changed it up and grabbed the others here and there since. They are great for nights when your significant other is watching something you could care less about on TV!

Word searches were a fun pastime when I lived with an old roommate - we would sit out on our porch, drinking and passing the book back and forth under light from a tiki torch. It was, and still is, a great memory. And I just finished that book last year! This one I'm not nearly as close to finished with.

My boss actually got me addicted to Sudoku accidentally a few months ago. He has a flip calendar with puzzles and games on the backs of some of the pages, and always hands me the Sudoku puzzles. That led me to downloading a Sudoku app on my Kindle Fire, and buying my newest puzzle book.

Brain games are great all on their own - I've always used those types of books, and logic puzzles, to fool myself into thinking that they're keeping my mind 'sharp'. Some days, my mind feels about as sharp as butter, and it has nothing to do with these books!

The next time you're perusing the sale section at Barnes and Noble or cruising through Half Price Books - definitely look out for some of these books. They're cheap entertainment that lasts as long as you let them.

I hope you enjoyed the first Stuff I Love Saturday! I'll be trying to give you more and more of a glimpse into my silly little life with them every week.

Get Pretty Reviews: Benefit Brow Zings

These days, I don't wear makeup every day - or even every other day. I do have some definite go-to products, though - and one place in which that was lacking was my brows! I have used a menagerie of different things to fill my eyebrows in over the years, but was looking for that one product that would just blow me away... and I definitely found it.

Benefit is a great makeup company. I have fallen in love with every product I've ever used! Until now, that list included SheLaq, Lemon Aid, and High Beam. I haven't tried much more, but am definitely interested in a few products. This post isn't about what I want, though, it's what I already have!

Brow Zings are a product that include two things in the compact - a wax for taming unruly eyebrow hairs, and a powder for filling, as well as two tiny brushes. Before finding this compact, I was using a Clinique eyeshadow, and I can say that one use and I was hooked.

The wax holds hairs in place wonderfully, while adding a bit of a dark tint that is only added to when you utilize the powder. A two-step process that now, only takes me a few minutes. One thing I would change, though, is those tiny brushes. I used them a couple of times, but I abandoned them for my regular brow brush. Below is photographic evidence of my first time using the product - I loved it, even then!

For someone with arched (and patchy) eyebrows like mine, a great filler product is a necessity. They make the issues surrounding plucking and waxing for years basically disappear! Thankfully, I found a great product in Brow Zings, and am planning on consulting the Benefit rack at Ulta a bit more religiously at this point!

What are your favorite go-to brow products?

What’s the big deal about Friday the 13th, anyway?

It's a series of eleven campy horror movies released between 1980 and 2003 - and yes, I am aware that they re-made the original Friday the 13th in 2009, but to me, it doesn't count. Because it was awful.

 

Getting up this morning, I, of course realized that today was Friday the 13^th, but thought to myself that I never really figured out where the issue with the day came from – so I consulted my trusty friend Wikipedia and decided to put together a fun little post for all of our information!

Friday the 13^th has been considered an unlucky day for quite some time, since at least the 19^th century. There is no written information about the superstition found before that time as of yet. There are many, many theories which are used to attempt to back it up.

Numerology

The number twelve is considered a complete number, and is reflected in several things including the twelve months of the year and twelve hours of the clock. The number thirteen was originally considered to be irregular, which skews the theory of twelve being complete. As an interesting twist, there is a Norse myth that states having thirteen people seated at a table will result in the death of one of the diners.

Unlucky Day

Since The Canterbury Tales were written in the 14^th century, Friday has been considered unlucky, especially for professionals. It is stated to be an unlucky day to undertake journeys or begin new projects. Don’t most good journeys start on a Friday? Since the 1800’s, ‘Black Friday’ has been known as a day associated with stock market crashes and other grave disasters.

Friday the 13^th also has a phobia named after it! I’ll give you absolutely nothing if you can pronounce it, but you should try anyway:

friggatriskaidekaphobia

‘Frigga’ is the name of the Norse goddess for whom “Friday” is named, and triskaidekaphobia is a fear of the number thirteen. This phobia’s name first appeared in mainstream media in 1953.

In Spanish-speaking and Italian popular culture, Tuesday the 13^th and Friday the 17^th, respectively, are considered their days of bad luck.

What does this mean for us in modern-day society? According to the Stress Management and Phobia institute in Asheville, North Carolina, 17 to 21 million people in the US are affected by a fear of Friday the 13^th, making it the most feared day and date in history.  

A lot of people use Friday the 13th as an excuse to get a tattoo - at least in my world, where 13 tattoos for $13 deals run rampant in tattoo shops everywhere.  And you know - I just might get one today myself.

Now for me, it's just another day. I just thought that perhaps you guys might have been wondering the same thing I was!

Night at the Movies: Magic Mike

For me, going to the movies is an old pastime. I remember being in high school and getting my parents to pony up $20 so I could go see Pirates of the Caribbean for the fourth time and just how exciting it was. Now, movies are overpriced and I'm not the biggest fan of going to them. In the past couple of weeks, however, I've gone to two!

courtesy Lionsgate

Two weekends ago, I got together with my best friend from high school, Laura, and we had a girls' day. That day included shopping, giant margaritas, a trip to the casino, and finally, to see Magic Mike. It looked ridiculous, so of course, I wanted to see it.

seriously, these margaritas were no joke! i had 2.

I personally didn't know the backstory of Channing Tatum's history as a former male stripper, and nor did I really care. I just thought Magic Mike would make a fun afternoon, and it definitely did.

The story followed Mike, a part time male stripper in a revue called Xquisite. His real dream was creating custom furniture, but his credit and background couldn't get him a loan. He wound up doing side work in construction and shaking his ass every night. On one of these side jobs, he met Alex Pettyfer's character, Adam, and decided to bring him along to that night's show. Of course, he didn't let him in on the fact that he thought Adam would make a great addition to the cast.

The cast was great. Matthew McConaughey played the club's manager wonderfully, while Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, and the other big names brought up the tail end (get it?) in a great way. Sure, there was a lot of random gratuitous male nudity, but of course it didn't matter but to be a feast to the eyes.

The storyline wasn't something I was expecting. In a way I thought that things jumped around a bit too much - from the club, to the side jobs, to drug overdoses and blossoming relationships - and then it was just over. If I could change anything, I would definitely change the ending. I've also never seen a Steven Soderbergh movie (I don't think), so I wasn't expecting such a large storyline to go along with a film that was being advertised as nothing but a bunch of gratuitous nudity. Definitely was not what I expected, but it was still a good time.

If you're looking for an excuse to hang out with an old friend, or even to get together with the girls, Magic Mike is definitely a surefire bet for a great time.

Attempting to create the greatest life I can.

After reading Danielle’s post about nothing, I felt inspired to write one of my own.

I feel like I’m at a bit of a strange impasse in my life. A fork in the road. I am feeling the most extreme pull that I ever have – one that tells me that I need to make a choice, and soon. A choice to either continue down the road I’m on, working but dreaming of a life without a job, truly making my own way in this wide world.

As far as dreams go, I have been dreaming excessively in the past few years of a life without the necessity of a 40-hour a week paycheck, creating my own life and making my own way from the ground up. My dream job is one that involves a whole lot of crafting, writing, and being able to use my mind and talents to make a great life. Not punching a clock and letting someone else write my history for me.

That’s a big reason why I started this blog – I love writing. Since I haven’t been published in magazines in a couple of years, I needed an outlet to get out my thoughts, ideas, and to put these crazy thoughts of mine down somewhere. I do everything that I can to lead an honest life, and I hope that it translates into my blog, as well. That’s why I want to increase my number of posts, as well – I want to gain readers, and have that feeling of community I feel that I lack on occasion.

Since I was a kid, I’ve always felt like a bit of an outcast. I’ve always had strange anxieties about dealing with people, like I’m always being made fun of, or at the very least, that I’m not part of the crowd. I want to build a group of friends from all over the place! And every day, with every post, I hope to continue to build on what I already have.  

I just want to have a life that I can feel good about. That I can be proud of. Not that I am not proud of myself at this point, but I feel like I could do, and can be, so much more than I am.

It’s so funny to think that this post was supposed to be something about nothing, but in reality living my best life is one of the biggest things on my mind every day.

Have you ever felt this way? Like you were meant for more? What are you doing about it?

Get Pretty Version 3.0

I haven’t posted a Get Pretty makeup post in awhile, so I figured we were due! And I would have had it posted last night, except my night got away from me since Wednesdays are evenings I work two jobs! So, apologies – but – here we go!

I wore this look out last night, actually, to host my evening trivia show at a local restaurant! It is a pretty simple post to pull off for yourself, if you feel so inclined!

Here’s the list of products that I used:

Face:

Foundation – Revlon Photoready Airbrush in Vanilla

Brows – BeneFit Eye Zings in Medium

Finishing – Bare Minerals Matte Foundation in Fairly Light

Eyes:

Lid Primer – Bare Minerals Prime Time

Allover – Kat Von D Sugar Skull (from Memento Mori palette)

Blending – Kat Von D Meditation (from Memento Mori palette)

Outer corner/crease – Kat Von D Hard Luck (from Memento Mori palette)

Waterline Liner – Ulta Smokey Eyes in Black

Mascara – Prestige My Biggest Lashes in Black

All Kat Von D eyeshadows are available at Sephora, and most other items are available at drugstores or Ulta.

Since I’m not one for outfit posts, for the most part, but I’m definitely a girly girl once and awhile, and love to share my makeup selections - be sure to keep checking back for more Get Pretty makeup posts, as well as Get Pretty Reviews!

How I Blog: Blog Calendar

Since I've been looking for a way to get motivated to blog more, I decided to take a cue from Kaylah at The Dainty Squid and pick up a calendar to plan out my blog posts, as well as some small Post-Its to move around prospective posts. Last night, I put it together and planned an entire months' worth of posts! I am already incredibly motivated to keep myself to a post per day.

I am a bit of a stickler for a good planner, it took a few trips to different shops to find the perfect one. I went to both Target and OfficeMax, and it took a second Target trip to finally find what I was looking for.

I wanted a planner with calendar squares large enough for Post-It notes, and as an added bonus this one has cute tabs for the months as well as weekly pages, so I can use them for brainstorming! The extra space is great.

Overall, this particular project cost me around $10-12, depending on how much the planner you choose is. With all of the new things going on here at An Epic Liz, I figured now was as good a time as any to get organized!

Epic Service Announcement: New Blog Changes

In the time I've tried to be more serious about blogging, I've come to realize a couple of things: I've been sticking to doing about two different posts, and that's it (those being my Book Club Mondays and How To Tuesdays). That isn't all that I want out of this blog, however, so I came up with some great new ideas that I'm very excited to share with you!

First off, I'm going to continue to do Book Club Mondays every Monday, but am going to take a break from How To Tuesdays every week, and instead going to do them every two. In the meantime, I'm bringing in a new bi-weekly post called How I Blog - filled with motivation and my own ideas to stay motivated, and hopefully help someone else!

Besides all that, I'm bringing back Get Pretty posts of various makeup looks, and also Get Pretty Reviews, where I review some of my new (and old) favorites!

Among all of those new things, there are still others that I want to keep secret. According to my calendar, there will be a post every day for the entire post of July, and I'm going to do everything that I can to stick to that plan!

Un-blog related, but I'm also planning to do something really special with that novel I wrote a couple of years ago... stay tuned for more!

Book Club Mondays: The Mill River Recluse

After reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, I wanted a standalone read that would be able to capture my attention and help rid me of the memory of ever reading said trilogy. Brain bleach, if you will. Upon flipping through my Kindle looking for a new read, I happened upon The Mill River Recluse by Darcie Chan. I had downloaded it months ago with every intention of reading it, but it didn’t quite happen.  

A self-published novel that’s made it to both the New York Times and USA Today Bestseller lists, The Mill River Recluse is highly regarded both via Amazon reviews and word of mouth. It is a self-published marvel that has sold hundreds of thousands of copies digitally, without a single hard copy published as of yet. It’s a bit of an amazing story, and as someone who has an unpublished novel sitting on the hard drive of my computer, a bit inspirational! But of course, we’re not here to talk about me (for now), we’re talking about this great book.

The Mill River Recluse takes place in fictional Mill River, Vermont, and tells the story of agoraphobic, reclusive Mary McAllister, a widow who lives atop a large hill in a marble house built by her late husband. Turned from just a shy girl into a full-on recluse after being disfigured by her abusive husband, Mary refused to leave that marble house on the hill. She read and rode her horse, Ebony, to pass the time, and used her wealth to help the entire town of Mill River, though they didn’t know it at the time.  

An unlikely cast of characters included Father O’Brien, the town’s priest whose kleptomaniacal tendencies left no spoon in Mill River safe. He was one of Mary’s only views into the outside world past her window, and took responsibility for her care for at least 40 years. There is also ‘Crazy Daisy’, a girl who had an absolutely refreshing view – after being left somewhat brain damaged from birth, her lackadaisical attitude brought a great deal of light into an already great story. She spent her time creating ‘magic potions’, really by just mixing a lot of random things together. There were others in the town (obviously), including the newest police officer, his daughter, and a new teacher who held their own storyline along with Leroy, another police officer with a mean, jealous streak that leads to some of his own trouble.

From the characters to the writing, I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Mill River Recluse. It is definitely one of those books that you either love or hate – there doesn’t seem to be a middle ground. One thing I loved, and that was much different than other novels, is the way it was written. One chapter would begin with a story about Mary, growing up and giving the reader an idea of how she got the way she did. The next would was a third-person representation of what was happening around her. It reminded me a bit of the writing in Chuck Palahniuk’s Pygmy (and trust me, if you didn’t know that’s what you were walking into, that book was incredibly confusing). It was kind of a fun way to read, since you were getting history and back story in between reading in the present tense.

As of right now, the book is $2.99 in the Kindle store – don’t try to get a hard copy, though, since they don’t exist (yet). If you’re looking for a thoroughly enjoyable read that both won’t take long and will leave you incredibly satisfied at the story’s end, check out The Mill River Recluse. You will be so glad you did.

Book Club Mondays: The Fifty Shades of Grey Series

This week's Book Club Monday is a little special, in that I read three books instead of just one! Those three books just so happen to be three of the most popular books in recent history - the Fifty Shades of Grey series. 

I didn't really want to read these books, if I can be honest. I just wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. I went in knowing three things: they've been nicknamed 'mommy porn', they were all based off of a Twilight fan fiction story, and the writing isn't that great. These are all things I learned based on reviews I read online, so at least I wasn't surprised. 

Did I enjoy the books? Not really. Did I get some sort of weird sexual enjoyment out of reading all of the BDSM-laden sexcapades of one Anastasia Steele and one Christian Grey? No. The story has been done so many times before - disadvantaged, naive girl meets filthy rich businessman, they sleep together, and drama ensues. Of course. 

From what I learned going in, the books' events all take place in a matter of weeks. Anastasia meets Christian by going to do an interview for her college's student magazine in her friend Kate's place, and makes a great first impression by tripping and falling into his office face first. That, and she had nearly no interviewing experience, and asked the powerful businessman if he was gay. Of course. Because that would happen. Christian Grey starts all but stalking this poor girl, and then, of course, they fall in love with each other. At least E.L. James got the emotional abuse part of the Twilight storyline in there without fail. The first book, Fifty Shades of Grey, chronicles Anastasia's feelings through meeting the untouchable Grey, having her virginity taken by him, and trying to wrap her head around him wanting her to be his newest of sixteen submissives. Eventually, she realizes that this is absolutely ridiculous, and leaves him. And you're suckered into reading another book.

Fifty Shades Darker starts off with a strange Christian Grey flashback (since at this point we've learned he had a totally fucked up childhood), and gets right into the middle of Anastasia's pity party. She leaves him, but she feels badly. She got a new job as assistant to a commissioning editor at a prestigious publishing company in Seattle, and tries to fill her time working, crying, and sleeping. Such an uplifting message. Of course, at this point, Christian starts to weasel his way back into Anastasia's life, by creepily showing up at places she goes since he's tracking her movements via her phone - at the exact same time as her skeezy boss, Jack Hyde, decides that sexual harassment is the sure way to a woman's heart. Anastasia and Christian get back together. They bang each other - a lot, she changes his mind about wanting her as a submissive and wants to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, they bang, they fight, they bang, etc. Honestly, I could only read the gratuitous sex scenes until about halfway through this book. At that point, they were almost mundane. As mundane as Anastasia's constant musing about how beautiful and untouchable Christian is in comparison to any other guy ever born. Christian continues to be creepy - even going so far as to buy the company Anastasia works for, and shortly after, fire her creepy boss, Jack - this is, after Jack attempts to force himself on her and causes a whole heap of trouble. His creepiness must be alluring to Anastasia, since she agrees to marry him. And they bang. And they bang. and Jack Hyde seeks revenge. Aaaaand then the book ends. 

By the time I read Fifty Shades Freed, the third (and final) installment of the series, I was so utterly and completely over Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey I could puke. Her undying love for this guy was sickening. He obviously had issues, and she did what girls do every day - she tried to fix him. We all know that never works. Now, I'm not entirely positive when Freed takes place in comparison to the first book, but the fact that Christian and Anastasia get married kills any thought of this relationship - and story - being even remotely believable. Or does it? They get married, Anastasia gets used to being the wife of a rich dude, Christian's helicopter is sabotaged and everybody thinks he's dead - but of course he isn't, and of course Jack Hyde is to blame… I'm sure you can guess the rest, so I don't want to spoil it for you. As far as entertainment went, though, Fifty Shades Freed took the cake.

All in all, I didn't find anything really worth liking or taking away from the Fifty Shades series. If anything, it just makes me sad that this is what writing has to be in order to be popular, and that this is what people all over the world are turning to in an attempt to fix their broken relationships and spice up their marriages just makes me shake my head. Although, I suppose the money spent on these books is cheaper than marriage counseling.