Let me preface this post by saying I don't get onto a soapbox real often, but when I do, I usually think it's for good reason.
Part of our culture has always been to create this wall around athletes, like they're untouchable. They get to skate on grades and even on performance on the field or in the gym, and never have to know real rules. They are treated better than everyone else just because they have a talent for playing a sport. Is that right, either? No. We were all sixteen once, and we've all been to parties without supervision. Sure, people drink and have a good time, and things like this don't typically happen on the national stage, but this one did.
The fact that nobody spoke up that night sickens me enough. Nobody speaking up now that most of the facts are out there? Even sicker. Of course, if you can't make a meme or a stupid video about something on the internet, nobody will pay attention to what you have to say. If it actually, god forbid, created a real conversation, I don't know what would happen.
Instead of making this a national conversation, authorities and news outlets are ready to forget about it, just like everything else. Why is that? It's a black eye, an uncomfortable subject. I bet it's uncomfortable for Jane Doe, too, but nobody seems to care about how she feels. She was the one carted around like a carcass the night of that party. She was the one who was violated. So why do we care so much about these boys losing a couple of years of their lives, and not about the girl who may never recover?
CNN stated that the boys were "promising students". ABC News made excuses in their favor. NBC News brought up their promising careers in football, and USA Today did nothing more than talk about how drunk the victim was over and over.
HOW IS ANY OF THIS OKAY? How is nobody angry or speaking up? Does anybody even see how wrong all of this is? That the victim is being demonized in the media for being drunk at a party on the wrong night of her life? Are you kidding me? Why is everyone feeling sorry for these pieces of shit, when there is a victim here who will never be the same?
In no way, shape, or form is rape okay. And we all know that - we are all taught that. And I don't know why I'm particularly pissed about this particular subject. Probably because I am a woman, and something in this same vein happened to me.
This has nothing to do with this particular situation, but several years ago, I was roofied at a bar. The idiot who did it didn't even stick around. Instead, he left me there alone, knowing that I had driven myself there. I have no recollection of what happened that night, only knowing I was alone and remember pulling reeds and grass from under my car the next morning so my parents wouldn't see. Does nobody understand how terrifying that is? To not remember? Thankfully I know that nothing happened to me, but I can't even imagine how awful it would be if there were pictures, or Twitter posts, or anything else. It would be awful. Embarrassing. That night is already something I very rarely talk about - because even the thought makes me sick. Not of what happened, but what could have.
There is nothing wrong with being angry about this, and nobody can convince me otherwise. The situation itself is deplorable, but I think the bigger message is here is just a question of why. Why is this not a conversation? Why aren't we looking at ourselves in the mirror and trying to be better people so this awful shit stops happening? In a way, I feel like life in our society is like a battle for who can do the worst to another person. Where is the community? Who is teaching that? Or are we too far beyond simple human compassion?
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