Saturday, June 22, 2013

OKStupid Chronicles #1 - No, really - WTF?

This is an idea I had months ago, but it took that long for me to get over myself and just do it.

I have an OKCupid account. There, I said it. I'm getting better with the idea, especially because it isn't as taboo now as it was years ago. I met my last two (disappointing) boyfriends that way, and at this point, I know I'm not gonna meet anybody decent. I just maintain the account to see what kind of crazy messages I get. And the first one I want to share is a real doozy.

I'm just going to post it first (I've been keeping these for months), and react accordingly. Most of these dudes cancelled their accounts shortly after messaging me.


The first thing that infuriated me was the grammar. And spelling. And misuse of capitalization (and by 'misuse' I mean 'not using'). 

After I read it, I audibly laughed out loud and could do nothing but just say "what the fuck?!" over and over and over. I get these kinds of messages from total weirdos all the time, but this one really took the cake. 

I don't know why I didn't respond back to him - probably something to do with the aforementioned reasons, as well as the whole him asking me to pee on him and use a strap on on him... without even telling me his name. There are so many things that can be said about a guy that will tell you about his absolute craziest fantasties without even sharing his name... but I think I summed it up with my initial response. Knowing his name wouldn't have helped his case whatsoever. Stay classy, dudes of OKCupid.


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