OKStupid Chronicles #2: Bad pickup lines DO NOT WORK.

Some of my biggest pet peeves about guys on OKCupid is the lame one-liner messages that I read and wonder who falls for. I would probably have to take my shoes and socks off to count how many messages I've received that just read "nice tats" or want to talk about my tattoos, not about anything my profile has to offer. Just like last week, let me share these wonderful communications with you, and we can discuss:

I can't believe shit like this works on anybody. And no, for reference, my parents are retired from the USPS. This comes in a close second to the guy that decided to start our conversation by calling me "sweetie". Yeah, that doesn't get you real far, either. 

I really have no idea what the point of this message was at all. If dude wanted to tell me all about how much he likes music from the 80's and 90's, that would be one thing, but did he really think this would garner a response from a real, human woman?

... The sad thing is, it probably has.

I would also really like to know what about my profile makes these guys think I'm some sort of total freak who is into all of these weird things. Just because I have a few tattoos, that must make them think that I am some kind of sexual deviant. Too bad I'm not and if they think I am, they will be sorely disappointed.

Unfortunately, I didn't respond to these messages, either.