Six Things I've Learned in My Six-Month Relationship... So Far

My anniversary flowers!

It seems a little bit silly to be writing a post about the fact that my relationship has lasted as long as it has. In certain ways, it shouldn't really matter - if it isn't a year, or two, or six, it doesn't necessarily feel like a huge achievement. But it is definitely one of those milestone things... especially for a girl like me, who usually has a relationship timeline of around three or four months.

Things always happened and former relationships imploded on themselves in a matter of months. Once you start getting to know somebody, you naturally want to get more involve, and if the other person is not at the same place, you wind up at a standstill, and nothing good can come of it. You pick up, dust yourself off, and try again. Trial and error.

From day one, Mike has been incredibly patient. The week we started talking and decided to get into this whirlwind of a relationship was the week I found out about my melanoma... so needless to say, and not to take a page out of Fight Club, but he met me at a very strange time in my life... a la Marla Singer. He has taught me a lot of things, including that it really doesn't matter how much makeup I wear or how bad my breath smells in the morning.. he loves me the same either way. He has taught me that it is okay to just be me, unscripted and unrestrained... and he is okay with that. I love being able to love that way.

So, what I've learned, numbered for your convenience:

1. Love unconditionally. There are definitely some days when I want to punch a hole in Mike's face. I'm pretty sure that happens in every relationship. I just do the best that I can every day to show him how much I care. 
2. The past is the past. For the longest time, I felt myself being compared to all of his exes thanks to constant conversations about them. It made me feel bad about myself. Eventually, I realized that those issues aren't mine, and isn't my concern. 
3. Never go to bed angry. Getting back to my first point - getting in an argument is bad enough, but if you don't agree to disagree before going to bed, don't think for a second that it won't continue to haunt you. You won't sleep well, and the bad feelings will continue. It's better to apologize and get on with your life. 
4. Don't lose yourself in the relationship. I still fight with this one to this day. I am still learning how to be Liz, and do all of the things I loved to do before meeting Mike, like knitting, writing, and my other hobbies. 
5. Be best friends. If I don't hear from Mike throughout the day, it doesn't feel like it's going to be a good day. Each and every day, I hear from him several times, mostly to ask how my day is going. To ask what I want for dinner or tell me how he did on a test in school. It just makes me feel loved. 
6. Be patient. Everything else is tied to this one, for sure. Learning to love, and forget about the past, and stay together with an open mind is difficult. Every day, it gets easier and easier. 

Love is hard work. It's up to us to make the best of it. 

Band I Saw: City and Colour

Photo by Erik Ljung Photography, taken from the Pabst Theater Facebook

Do you listen to a band that you've always wanted to see live, whose music has impacted you emotionally and gotten you through some of your darkest times? I was given the opportunity to see a band that has done just that for me over the past few years.

On Monday, February 6, Mike brought me to the City and Colour show at the Pabst Theater here in Milwaukee. In case you're unfamiliar, City and Colour started as a side project for Dallas Green, then of Alexisonfire. Since, Dallas has been experimenting with doing City and Colour full time, and if the show was any indication, doing very well.

Before going any further, let me just say that before this show, I have never set foot inside the Pabst Theater, although I've lived in Milwaukee on and off for about the past six years. The Pabst is an absolutely breathtaking place to see a show, both physically and from a sound standpoint. A history of amazing shows from nights past bled through the walls as the opening band played, and moreso before the house lights went down for the headlining act. The lights and sound were both impeccable, adding yet another level of enjoyment to an already wonderful night. It didn't hurt that drinks weren't too expensive, either, especially for what I was expecting in going to a more upscale venue.

It was one of the greatest live music experiences I have ever had. I have never had a more emotional reaction to a song than I did on Monday night. It's absolutely amazing how just hearing a song played live can bring up the most intense feelings - something I'd heard but never felt until that night. During at least two songs of the set, tears just poured down my face, and there was nothing I could do about it. The specific songs, for the record, were "Sleeping Sickness" and "Day Old Hate".

As someone who has loved the raw emotion and beauty in the simple songs of Dallas Green since City and Colour's debut, "Sometimes" in 2005, I was completely satisfied by the live show and the set. There was a perfect mix of songs from each of the albums released, and I loved hearing how well they translated into a live show.

Wiping the tears from my face as much as possible, I stood and sang along to every song. I had an honest experience and fell even more in love with some of the simplest, most emotional songs that I have ever heard. And the only thing I can say to that? Thank you, Dallas Green.