Six Things I've Learned in My Six-Month Relationship... So Far

My anniversary flowers!

It seems a little bit silly to be writing a post about the fact that my relationship has lasted as long as it has. In certain ways, it shouldn't really matter - if it isn't a year, or two, or six, it doesn't necessarily feel like a huge achievement. But it is definitely one of those milestone things... especially for a girl like me, who usually has a relationship timeline of around three or four months.

Things always happened and former relationships imploded on themselves in a matter of months. Once you start getting to know somebody, you naturally want to get more involve, and if the other person is not at the same place, you wind up at a standstill, and nothing good can come of it. You pick up, dust yourself off, and try again. Trial and error.

From day one, Mike has been incredibly patient. The week we started talking and decided to get into this whirlwind of a relationship was the week I found out about my melanoma... so needless to say, and not to take a page out of Fight Club, but he met me at a very strange time in my life... a la Marla Singer. He has taught me a lot of things, including that it really doesn't matter how much makeup I wear or how bad my breath smells in the morning.. he loves me the same either way. He has taught me that it is okay to just be me, unscripted and unrestrained... and he is okay with that. I love being able to love that way.

So, what I've learned, numbered for your convenience:

1. Love unconditionally. There are definitely some days when I want to punch a hole in Mike's face. I'm pretty sure that happens in every relationship. I just do the best that I can every day to show him how much I care. 
2. The past is the past. For the longest time, I felt myself being compared to all of his exes thanks to constant conversations about them. It made me feel bad about myself. Eventually, I realized that those issues aren't mine, and isn't my concern. 
3. Never go to bed angry. Getting back to my first point - getting in an argument is bad enough, but if you don't agree to disagree before going to bed, don't think for a second that it won't continue to haunt you. You won't sleep well, and the bad feelings will continue. It's better to apologize and get on with your life. 
4. Don't lose yourself in the relationship. I still fight with this one to this day. I am still learning how to be Liz, and do all of the things I loved to do before meeting Mike, like knitting, writing, and my other hobbies. 
5. Be best friends. If I don't hear from Mike throughout the day, it doesn't feel like it's going to be a good day. Each and every day, I hear from him several times, mostly to ask how my day is going. To ask what I want for dinner or tell me how he did on a test in school. It just makes me feel loved. 
6. Be patient. Everything else is tied to this one, for sure. Learning to love, and forget about the past, and stay together with an open mind is difficult. Every day, it gets easier and easier. 

Love is hard work. It's up to us to make the best of it. 

Get out and bike!

A couple of great friends of mine, Tiffany and Brian, got me on a bicycle for the first time in years this past September. They are very avid cyclists, and have gotten in great shape because of it. Personally, I've never been one for working out, but as a kid, I biked absolutely everywhere. 

Putting some thought into it, and thinking about the junky old bike that my mom got me after my mountain bike was stolen from my old apartment building, I got on it one afternoon about a month ago, and just rode and rode - before I knew it, I had made it seven whole miles on the thing. In all of its' weight, with all of its' squeaks - it had brought me seven miles. The next day, I got right back on - and went twelve miles. I was hooked. 

One great thing about biking that I never knew before I hopped on one was just how much I could learn about the city I have been living in for the last (almost) five years. I have found countless paths, like the one above that ended abruptly and ran parallel to railroad tracks, and have really come to see the beauty behind a rough(ish) city.

After three or four rides on the old Roadmaster bike, I decided to start doing some research and looking into new bikes at local bike shops. I scored huge! The bike I picked up is a 2011 SE Bikes Draft Lite. Since I got it home, I've been on it at very least every other day since I picked it up. Since Milwaukee's streets are paved with broken glass, I had an issue with a recurring flat rear tire that I actually just fixed over this past weekend with a Continental Gatorskin tire. Before I get too off topic, let me just make a long story short by saying that I love my bike. I love having the freedom to get on and ride, and forget about anything that's going on at home, at work, or anywhere - it's just me and the road beneath me, and that's wonderful to me. I've had a blast putting accessories on the bike, from the new rear tire to the Planet Bike rack and fenders, and even to the new saddle that was sent to me by Tiffany and her husband Brian! 

All that I'm trying to say is that I was wrong. I've discovered riding a bike, and not only have I fallen in love with something to do that's also good for me, but I have opened up an entirely new side of Milwaukee for myself. One of my new favorite things to do is to get up early on a Saturday morning, get on my bike without a specific destination, and just go. It's beautiful.