Six Things I've Learned in My Six-Month Relationship... So Far

My anniversary flowers!

It seems a little bit silly to be writing a post about the fact that my relationship has lasted as long as it has. In certain ways, it shouldn't really matter - if it isn't a year, or two, or six, it doesn't necessarily feel like a huge achievement. But it is definitely one of those milestone things... especially for a girl like me, who usually has a relationship timeline of around three or four months.

Things always happened and former relationships imploded on themselves in a matter of months. Once you start getting to know somebody, you naturally want to get more involve, and if the other person is not at the same place, you wind up at a standstill, and nothing good can come of it. You pick up, dust yourself off, and try again. Trial and error.

From day one, Mike has been incredibly patient. The week we started talking and decided to get into this whirlwind of a relationship was the week I found out about my melanoma... so needless to say, and not to take a page out of Fight Club, but he met me at a very strange time in my life... a la Marla Singer. He has taught me a lot of things, including that it really doesn't matter how much makeup I wear or how bad my breath smells in the morning.. he loves me the same either way. He has taught me that it is okay to just be me, unscripted and unrestrained... and he is okay with that. I love being able to love that way.

So, what I've learned, numbered for your convenience:

1. Love unconditionally. There are definitely some days when I want to punch a hole in Mike's face. I'm pretty sure that happens in every relationship. I just do the best that I can every day to show him how much I care. 
2. The past is the past. For the longest time, I felt myself being compared to all of his exes thanks to constant conversations about them. It made me feel bad about myself. Eventually, I realized that those issues aren't mine, and isn't my concern. 
3. Never go to bed angry. Getting back to my first point - getting in an argument is bad enough, but if you don't agree to disagree before going to bed, don't think for a second that it won't continue to haunt you. You won't sleep well, and the bad feelings will continue. It's better to apologize and get on with your life. 
4. Don't lose yourself in the relationship. I still fight with this one to this day. I am still learning how to be Liz, and do all of the things I loved to do before meeting Mike, like knitting, writing, and my other hobbies. 
5. Be best friends. If I don't hear from Mike throughout the day, it doesn't feel like it's going to be a good day. Each and every day, I hear from him several times, mostly to ask how my day is going. To ask what I want for dinner or tell me how he did on a test in school. It just makes me feel loved. 
6. Be patient. Everything else is tied to this one, for sure. Learning to love, and forget about the past, and stay together with an open mind is difficult. Every day, it gets easier and easier. 

Love is hard work. It's up to us to make the best of it. 

Moving out, moving on...

Last time I ever closed this door.

How things can change in the space of just a few months is absolutely ridiculous, when you think about it. 

After a shitty roommate situation, I finally moved into my own place (not shared with anybody, really mine) in about September of 2010. It was a little one bedroom apartment in Milwaukee's Bay View neighborhood, and I loved finally having my own space and having the freedom to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. When fallouts with friends happen, they often leave scars, and this one definitely did. 

The moral of this story is, though, that the apartment was the first thing that was really mine. My bachelorette pad, if you will. 

I started dating Mike in October, and he moved in in December. That left one cramped one bedroom apartment to house two adults and two cats. Not that I'd go back and change anything, because I definitely wouldn't. I just knew that it was time to grow up and get out. I'd been looking around for places here and there, and found one through work that we fell in love with. In the middle of February, we moved in, and having the additional space is definitely nice. An entire bedroom to house our hobbies (and of course, the fallout junk from everywhere else)! A living room big enough for two couches! Air conditioning! A dishwasher! The amenities are ridiculous in comparison to my old apartment, that was really only big enough for one person, with its' tiny kitchen and bathroom, and just enough character to get by.

I loved that place. I created so many things there, taught myself a lot of new things craft wise, spray painted in the bathroom, finally got cable for the first time in over a year, burned remnants of a past relationship in the bathroom sink... and you get it. Living in that apartment is not anything I'll ever forget, but I'm glad that I'm getting to experience life as I am right now. Uncharted territory is always scary, but you have to look back to be able to look ahead, don't you?